Official Communiqué #111-A – Village Communications Takeover
FROM THE OFFICE OF PUBLIC INFORMATION, CIVIC BROADCASTING, AND FAX COMPLIANCE VILLAGE OF HOBART – EST ?????
To Whom It May Or May Not Concern:
Effective immediately, this blog has been seized by the Office of Public Information, under the direction of the Acting Press Secretary (me), on behalf of the currently uncontactable Office of the Mayor.
All prior posts (if any existed) have been placed under review for potential civic inconsistencies, unregistered sarcasm, and unlicensed metaphors.
This blog is now the official channel for:
- Public updates
- Emergency advisories
- Sanitation anomalies
- Ongoing tunnel speculation
- And all matters pertaining to “community vibes”
You may also find periodic entries from our Civic Broadcasting Liaison (Doug) once his typewriter is repaired and un-haunted. Doug is currently in assessment.
Please note that this is not a forum for grievances, poetry, or speculative cartography. All submissions to the Suggestion Box must be notarized, blessed by a raccoon, and sent via fax to a number that has not yet been disclosed.
What to expect going forward
- Weekly communiqués following each major incident or illustrated transmission (aka comics)
- Unredacted historical records as they become available (pending approval by the Archive Sifter)
- Civic announcements regarding local phenomena, non-events, and passive-aggressive reminders
If you are reading this, congratulations: you are now part of the official record.
If you are not reading this, please disregard.
Sincerely (for now),
J. King
Press Secretary
Village of Hobart
Office of Public Information, Civic Broadcasting, and Fax Compliance